Give me love
by Shywriter71
Summary: Her best friend killed herself and all she wanted to do is forget... But that wasn't such a good idea


_Dear Clare,_

_If you are reading this, it means that I have successful killed myself. I know now you are wondering if it's something you did but it's not, you were a truly amazing friend and I have no idea what I would have done without you, and I know now this hurts but you need to know this is the best thing that could have ever happened, you will get over this: your one of the strongest people I have ever met, please don't forget the memories we shared. I hope you have truly incredible life and I wish you nothing but happiness. I love you so much more than you will ever know._

_Love always, Alli_

She sat in the hospital reading the letter over and over, she just didn't understand. Alli Bhandari was one of the cheerful and funniest people she knew, she loved life and was captain of almost every team at school but yet she was one who committed suicide, she was the one who gave up, Clare just didn't understand. 17... she was 17 years old and had her whole life head of her and now her corpse in lying in a morgue.

"Clare" she heard her name being called, I look up to see a boy with brown eyes looking down at me, and it was no other than Mike Dallas, Alli's boyfriend.

"Please tell me it isn't true" He says, she can see a bit of hope in his eyes, like somehow this just a sick joke and that alli is going to jump out and scream "Boo". She holds the letter closer to her chest and closes her eyes well nodding her head. She can hear him take in a deep breath, and looks up to see his eyes filled with tears

"Why?" she know he's not really asking her. "Did She write a letter?" and she shakes her head yes and hands him, an envelope with his name on it... "Thanks umm... I'm going to go, I'll see you soon Clare." he says and then he's gone. Then she is left all alone in the waiting room and she just can't bring myself to leave, it isn't until my phone rings that she realizes that she should leave, she looked at her phone and see that it's her oh so lovely mother.

"Hello?" she says her voice not really sounding like own

"Sweetheart where are you? I thought you would've have been on your way home from Adam's " going to Adams would have been a fun night, but no she had to stop by alli's to see if she wanted to join, only to find her hanging from her shower rod.

"I'm at the hospital mom" her voice cracking

"What happen? "She can hear the worry in her voice

"Alli killed herself mom" she says trying to fight back the tears that are threating to spill out.

"Sweetheart I'm leaving now, to get you don't move, I will be right there, everything will be ok sweetie I promise" Clare can hear her mom asking Glen and Jake where the keys are. "I'll be there soon sweetie" and then the line goes dead, and now she's left alone with her thoughts, she knows she should call Adam but she can't bring myself to do it.

_**30 minutes later**_

The car ride home is quiet; she knows her mom is waiting for her to talk first, but she doesn't she feels lost and confused and all I want is to go home and sleep, hopefully this is all just a horrible nightmare. When we pull in the driveway she sees all the lights on which means that glen and Jake are still awake. She can tell her mom hates the silence, so of course she has to break it.

"We don't have to talk about it now" She says it so quietly

"I just want to go to sleep mom, is that ok?" she says in a whisper, and all she does is shake her head, she gets out of the car and walk in the house. Jake and glen are both sitting watching some weird show on the discovery channel. They both look up with sad smiles, they both take turns giving her hugs and telling her how sorry they are.

"I'm going to lay down" she tells all three of them and walks upstairs to her room, she closes the door quietly and sits on her bed, she can feel phone started vibrating she knows it's Eli, but she doesn't answer even though she knows he has gone through the pain of losing someone important, but she just doesn't want to talk to anyone. She lets the darkness take over.

_**Next Morning**_

She's feels someone else Is in her room but she doesn't want to open her eyes, if she opens her eyes then she knows it wasn't a nightmare, that alli is really gone, she really killed herself, but she know she can't ignore the person in her room anymore as she sits up in her bed. She looks over at the computer chair to see a very worried Eli, looking down at the ground.

"Hi" she whispers, he looks up and she can see he looks tired, and he looks like he's been crying

"Hi" he whispers back, and then she sees anger in his in eyes "why didn't you pick your phone?" He says with a mixture of anger and worry. "I was worried that you had done something to yourself, you scared the hell out of me, Clare!" He was basically yelling at me and she just sat there, she didn't know what to say and she didn't know what to do.

She looked down at her hands "I'm sorry" she whispered it and it breaks his heart when she looks up and she can see he regrets yelling at her but after getting a call from Adam about what happen to alli he was worried about her and she wasn't answering her phone so he called Jake, and Jake told him to get his "Emo ass" to their house, and he planned on waiting for her to wake up, so he sat in her computer chair for a few hours, Just thinking. He was brought out his thought when he heard her getting out of her bed.

"I'm sorry" he says sincerely, Stopping her in her tracks and she looks at him "I just freaked, I didn't want you to hurt yourself, too" He says with tears running down his cheek " I love you so much and I have no idea what I would do without you" he crosses the room and captures her into tight hug . Just when he's about to let go, she holds on to him tighter, all the tears that she had held in suddenly come spilling out.

"I don't know why she did it" she cries "My Best friend killed herself and I have no idea why she did it; I didn't even know she was sad or depressed." Her and Eli are wrapped up in each other's arm sitting in the middle of Clare's bed, and Eli is holding on to her like he is never letting her go, rubbing her back and whispering that I will be ok.

"I'm a terrible friend, I should have noticed she was unhappy, that she was sad but I didn't" she cries "I'm so selfish" she cries even more into his shoulder.

"No you're not!" He's seemed really upset about this "You're an amazing person, you're the sweetest, and kindest I have ever met, I'm not going to let you think for one minute that this is your fault." She stops crying, and places a kiss on Eli lips

"I love you" She whispers

"I love you too" he whispers and kisses her temple "It will be ok Clare, I promise"

_**Funeral **_

Everyone from Degrassi is here, now she stands with Eli holds his hands well they make their way to the casket. "Clare we don't have to go up there if you don't too." He looks down at her and she wants to scream at him that her best friend is up there and that she has to be strong for her but all she sees is so much love and comfort in his eyes." I have to, I have to be strong for her" and he nods his head, and his hand is holding on to her tighter so she knows he's not going anywhere. When they make it to the casket she wants to laugh, alli is laying the casket wearing black, alli hates the color black; she always made fun of Eli for always wearing black. The service is about to start so her and Eli go take a seat next to Jake and Katie. To be completely honest she wasn't really listening to what was being said by the priest, and after that everything went really fast. The casket was closed and was being lowered into the grave, and flowers were being thrown in, then it was all over. Her best friend was really gone; she was just a part of the earth now.

"Are you ok?" Eli looks over asks her while they were driving back to her house, but right now she doesn't want that, she wanted him to comfort me; she wanted him to make me forget that they had just buried her best friend.

"Yeah" she whispers, and he knows she's lying but he's not going to push her "can I ask you for a favor?" she whispers and he nods " I don't want to go back to my house" she says quietly and he looks at her odd, like he has no idea what the hell she is about to say. "Can we please go back to your house?" she asks shyly, He coughs "Umm… sure why not" he turns the car around and starts driving towards his house.

_**Eli's Room**_

She knew why she wanted to go to his house, but she knew Eli had no idea because right now she was just lying with her back to his front, and it was sweet but she wanted more, she wanted to be as close as she could be with him tonight. "Eli" she whispers and she turns to look at him, "If I asked you to do something would you do it?" he look at her odd again the same way he did when she said she didn't want to go home, but he nodded. Instead of answering she pressed her lips to his and gave him a passionate kiss, he was confused but he kissed her back. She pulled away slowing and whisper "Please make me forget", he wasn't sure he heard her right, and he was confused for about another 3 seconds until he realized she was unzipping her dress, and he could see her plain black bra that was supposed to be hidden underneath her black dress. "What are you doing Clare?" he gulps and looks into her blue eyes, she doesn't say anything she just pulls her dress over her head leaving her in nothing but a plain black bra and lacey boy shorts. "Being with you" she says, she sees the look in his eyes, he's about to tell her he can't and before he can say anything she says "Don't tell me no" She cries "I just need to be with you Eli." He's unsure of what to say or do so she takes the lead and pulls off her bra. She can see his having a battle in his mind "I think you're overdressed" she laughs but he just smirks and she knows he's wondering what the hell is going on with her. "Please Eli, I want this, I want you inside of me and I want to fall asleep in your arms after, please stop thinking and just be here with me" he takes a deep breath, and finally says "ok, but after can we please talk" she nods her head and then he says "and I agree with you, compare to you I am way overdressed… so what are you going to do about it?" he says to her with a smirk on her face. "Oh I have few ideas." As she starts to undress her boyfriend.

_**Little bit late**_

"Wow" was all Eli had been saying for the past 10 minutes, he was laying with Clare in his arms, with nothing but a thin black sheet covering the two of them. "You've already said that" Clare laughs. "I know I just didn't expect that." They had been having sex for months now, but never like this. "I'm glad you enjoyed yourself" She giggle at him, but eil faces goes from careless to serious in 2 seconds "Clare" he starts "we have to talk about this , we can talk about her." he looks down at her and sees tear forming in her eyes "but not right now" he feels he needs to lighten the mood "because that was the best sex I have ever and if you don't mind I'm still really hungry" he starts kissing down her body, as she starts to giggle._**  
**_

I don't know where this story came from,but i need some eclare hope right now... so please be nice because i know the ending was horrible! so bye for now :)

much love,Fishie :)


End file.
